I am looking around my house right now and there is a mountain of things I should be doing, but rather than worrying about the dishes in the sink or piles of washing on my bed I just want to savour the contentment I am feeling right now and share with you what it is I love about being able to be at home with Skye. This morning was a pretty typical Monday morning for us, I intentionally have no planned activities on a Monday because it gives Skye and me a chance to reset the routine after the excitement of the weekend and I try to get on top of the admin and cleaning for the week. Today since it was so hot the last thing I felt like doing was standing at a sink of hot water so I took Skye out into the garden for a play on her slippery dip and her current favourite toy – a storage box half full of water.
She spent at least an hour pouring water down the slippery dip and watering the garden before she started complaining about being wet. Since most of the back yard is shady and it was so peaceful being out in the fresh air, we wandered around looking at the flowers that have all bloomed and made sure to smell every one before we headed back inside. Skye just loves grabbing the flowers and taking a big deep sniff before throwing her head back with an exaggerated “aahhhhh!” as if it is the most divine thing she has ever encountered. I never get tired of seeing the expression on her face when she does it.
Once we ate lunch and she was obviously ready for her nap I carried her into her bedroom, changed her and got ready to sit in the rocking chair for her mandatory cuddle and song when she pointed to her cot and indicated she was ready to be laid down. I placed her down and sang her a song and stroked her hair while she became calm enough to close her eyes and give in to the comfort of her bed. Before I had finished singing she was asleep and I took a moment to enjoy the peaceful expression on her face and the steady even rise and fall of her chest. After a few minutes I left the room and felt an overwhelming sense of contentment. I considered what I had achieved in becoming a parent and right now I feel proud, capable and confident in my abilities.
Not all days are like this, many days I feel like I could tear my hair out and curl into the foetal position in the laundry after enduring hours of incessant whining about which TV show to watch, screeching about having a nappy changed or tantrums for not being allowed to pull all the knives out of the drawer. These days are the ones when I wonder whether being back at work would be the better option, whether I am really cut out to do this mothering bit at all and trying to recall agreeing to trade my sanity for the chance to reproduce. But today was not one of those days, today has been a good day, one that I will draw on the next time I want to hand in my resignation.
Right in this moment, I couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else.
