Welcome To The Danger Zone

Right now, Hayden is in that blissful stage where he is beginning to become his own little person, but has no strong views on anything. He is still yet to crawl (although I feel my days of being able to say this are numbered), he can sit on his own, feed himself pieces of food, he laughs and giggles and squeals with excitement. He sleeps. A lot. He is all-in-all a content, joyful, loving little bundle of baby boy.

This makes him dangerous.

His sweet, snuggly, chubby deliciousness is an assault on my measured and practical decision that there will be no more babies for Casa De Bond.

Welcome to the Danger Zone. 

The time when routine and predictability begins to emerge, when sleeping through is a consistent and reliable notion, when you can see a real excitement for the world around them in their eyes and your days are filled with a steady stream of 'firsts'.  The time when I am so enamoured by their squishy, smiley newness that I don't want it to end!

Cluck.

This was never part of the plan. The plan was to have two children, feel blessed and enjoy a life of regular sized cars and separate bedrooms and a balanced parent to child ratio. Aside from the whole pesky pregnancy and birth bit there is the patience factor. Something both myself and Mr Bond are quite lacking in. 

I know my limits and I know I have reached them.

But then this happens.

And this.

And then there is a little bit of this.

Suddenly the plan seems a little flawed.

Why can't he just stay this size forever?!? Is that too much to ask?

When I first held Hayden I was sure that our family was complete, my work was done, there was no need to ask for anything more. I still feel that way, but all this cute stuff is wearing me down. Selective memory is starting to kick in and all the hard stuff seems a little less hard. He didn't wake up THAT much, my nipples weren't THAT cracked, Skye didn't take THAT long to adjust. 

Honestly, the bullshit we tell ourselves.

Ask me now I feel about the matter 12 months from now when Skye will be getting ready to start big school and Hayden is heading into the terrible two's. It's highly likely I will laugh hysterically at the mere notion of more babies.

I just have to get through the Danger Zone.

Pray for me.

Err, not you Hayden, that's not helping.