Too Much Fun Can Be Bad For Your Sanity

The last few weeks we have had far too many of these kinds of incidents happening, both at home and when out and about. Skye has seemed highly strung, anxious and difficult. Constantly. It has made the whole family feel tense and frustrated and honestly it has not been fun to live with. It had reached the point where I was wondering if this was more than just a phase, I was beginning to wonder if there was some kind of behavioural issue we needed to identify.

Really I just needed some kind of validation it wasn't my crap parenting. 

I wanted to be able to say "It's not me, it's you". 

Going on holidays... so hard.

I mean really what is Skye's problem? She gets to do a lot of fun things. In between Preschool and swimming lessons and weekly visits from my mum there are regular play dates with friends and trips to the beach, we make play dough and cookies, we read stories and dance along with Giggle and Hoot.

Living the dream if you ask me.

Catching big fish... so hard.

But sometimes there can be too much of a good thing. 

In the Calm of the Night

Today was a long day, actually it has been a long week. But today, today was the hardest. Skye is sick with a cold, nothing serious, but enough to make her short tempered and hard to reason with. Hayden, my usually placid, happy ray of sunshine had his 4 month (yes I said 4 month!) needles and whilst he took the whole process in his stride, as the day wore on, he was only going to be quiet if I was holding him. After a week of feeling like I just couldn't do enough, for enough people, quickly enough, my energy was spent. I had nothing left to give and I found myself counting down the clock, willing the day to be over.

I really hate to feel like that.

I hate feeling like I am just going through the motions.

I hate feeling ungrateful.

Today, I had a moment of ear popping rage that made me want to shout loud screamy swear words at Mr Bond so badly, for no other reason than I was worn down. But with one child finally asleep and the one likely to repeat my loud sweary words sitting right next to me, I held my tongue.

Just.

Now, as I sit in the quiet calm of the night, finally alone, able to breathe deeply for the first time today, the weight has lifted and my mind has cleared.

Today wasn't really so bad. Yes it was tough, but sometimes I think I expect too much.

Of course Skye is cranky and over sensitive, she is miserable from all the coughing and spluttering. She just wants her mummy, like everyone (including me, still) wants when they aren't feeling well.

Sometimes I forget she too is still very much a baby.

My first baby.

Of course Hayden wants to be held. He got two needles and a live vaccine this morning, it's completely normal for him to be feeling clingy. If this is my idea of him being difficult, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Now, with the lights dimmed and the TV low, I can remember feeling similar resentment at the constant needing when Skye was Hayden's age. The incessant physical contact, the round the clock alertness to duty, the feeling that as much as others may offer to help, it ultimately is on me to look after things. Only this time, I have the benefit of knowing how quickly the intensity of that dependence fades and how much I will miss it once its gone.

Now, with everyone sleeping soundly, I can recall that today I made Hayden laugh his first laugh, and the way his face lit up when he realised what he had done. I can recall that today Skye came home from Preschool beaming that she had made some new friends after weeks of saying that the other kids wouldn't play with her. I cannot tell you what a relief it was to hear the excitement in her voice.

Now, as I sit in the calm of the night, I realise that today, all my children asked of me was a little extra love, and if that's all they really needed, then today was a pretty good day after all.

Why Is It So Depressing To Be A Mother?

It's pretty common in the blogosphere that a theme or trend on posts will emerge, sometimes the influences are seasonal like gift ideas before Christmas or Summer weight loss journey's. Sometimes it is due to a current event or major news story. Other times it relates to underlying issues within society, an indication that something is wrong.

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Lately I have seen a great many posts relating to Depression. Stories of women struggling, feeling lost and overwhelmed by the task of motherhood. Everyday I see another post about a mother beginning a course of anti-depressants or seeking counselling to help them overcome these issues. Thank God we have these options available to us to allow these mothers the opportunity to enjoy their children without being clouded by these feelings. A right we all have as parents. 

But it does concern me. 

It concerns me that the need for these tools seems to be increasing. What is causing mothers to be so depressed? Has it always been this way and we are just a generation more comfortable with acknowledging things are not perfect, or is it simply harder to be a Stay At Home Parent now? From my perspective, I believe that part of the issue lies in the archaic attitude that being a Stay At Home Parent does not constitute work.

A Massive Impulse Purchase

When you think about impulse purchases its usually something small like a new shirt, or a cute vase or in my case going out to do the groceries and coming home with a new Dyson... 
but a block of land? Surely that's not considered a snap decision purchase, at least not normally.

But that's exactly what happened here about 4 weeks ago.

Husbands Need To Feel Loved Too

Mr Bond is still working away with various contracts, in fact, it's been well over 12 months now. To say it has been tough is an understatement, for me and Skye obviously, but perhaps even more so for Mr Bond. 

It can be easy to forget that this is no picnic for him either. Sure, I am looking after Skye and all the General Household Boringness by myself, not to mention that pleasant period of morning sickness and first trimester fatigue that almost drive me batty, but I have one clear advantage over Mr Bond in this situation: 

I am dealing with all of this in the comfort of our home.

Awesomely Great Grandparents

Last weekend we had a visit from Mr Bond's Grandparents, Skye's Great Grandparents (obviously). To me that is a pretty big deal especially considering that Grandad requires a constant assisted oxygen supply and they are both in their late 80s, not to mention the fact that they live six hours away! That trip is a mission for most people and honestly it does take it out of them, but they love coming over to see everyone so much just try and talk them out of it.


Their visits are all the more special for me as my own Grandparents had passed away by the time I was 13 and ever since Mr Bond and I have been a couple, they have always treated me like part of their family. It has helped to fill a void I did not even realise was there.

Returning To Real

Mr Bond returned to work today after 3 weeks of holiday’s. I will miss having him home all day and not just for the opportunity to steal a sleep-in, it was great having the time together as a family again after him being away for so long. But there is something about everyone being on holiday that plays havoc with my need for structure and routine. I don’t know what day it is so I miss things which makes me feel unproductive. This week everything will return to its normal, rightful places, Skye will go back to swimming lessons and day care, my regular gym classes will recommence, mum will make her weekly visit and with any luck, Skye will stop fighting me on day and night sleep times.

Happiness Is… Reconnecting With The Real World

 

 

 

 

I would like to thank everyone for their support in 2011 and look forward to sharing more of our adventures in 2012. I hope you like my new look, please let me know your thoughts xx.

Wordless Wednesday– Cousins Just Hanging Out

 

Linking up with My Little Drummer Boys for Wordless Wednesday

The Summer of…Me!

Gemma at My Big Nutshell is one clever lady, she has decided to reclaim her right to her own summertime fun this year and even better she is encouraging others to share their plans for staking a bit of ‘self’ in the blur of Christmas celebrations and kids activities that we face when the weather warms up. I am especially excited about the idea as this summer will be the last months of my 20s so I feel it is an important reminder for me to not lose sight of myself and what I love just because I am also a mother and a wife.

Pre-baby summers

 

The Non-Party Party

Like I said earlier, we decided to not have a big birthday bash for Skye this year, we thought it would be a bit much for her (and me) to have a big production when she would be just as happy with a few family members and a mountain of presents to tear through. I figure I have a lot of birthday parties ahead of me so I better pace myself now. Since the weather was so unkind and we woke to heavy rain I was glad we hadn’t arranged for 30-40 people to sardine themselves into our lounge room, we would have had to run something of that scale in shifts. That’s not to say that I didn’t get carried away with the catering anyway…

Being Polite and Acquiring Ugly Things

Fighting the clutter is a constant battle for many of us, no matter how regularly we do the big clean out, the ‘stuff’ just continues to creep in. The new stuff isn’t what I have trouble getting rid of though, it’s the older stuff that has been hanging around for years, not being used but can’t be disposed of because of the obligational attachment. Case in point is a dinner set that has been passed down to me. It has been sitting in the same box in the top of my wardrobe for the last 6 years, in fact this week was the first time I have even looked at it since I first received it. The whole set is in excellent condition but it is a brown floral 70’s nightmare and I quite simply can’t imagine myself ever using it.

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Wordless Wednesday–Family Holiday!

Linking up this week with My Little Drummer Boys for Wordless Wednesday. Some fantastic photos being shared this week, check them out!

Partying For A Good Cause–Girls Night In

We all love to get together with our girlfriends and enjoy a few drinks and some great food, even better if there is as chance to buy a new handbag while you are there and the purchase of that handbag could help cure cancer. Pardon? Yes, buying a new handbag could help cure cancer. Is that not the best justification for getting tiddly and splurging on some impulse purchases you have ever heard???  It doesn’t have to be wine and handbags, it could be a book club night, pamper treatments, yoga or battling it out on Singstar, the choice is yours as long as you are raising money for women’s cancers with the Cancer Council’s Girls Night In.

The Wannabe Smacker

I started writing this post before I knew “The Slap” was going to air and I actually didn’t watch it so I am not going to say anything on the matter of slapping other people’s children other than to state that I do not in any way condone an adult raising their hand to another person’s child. I also have no issue with the length of time a mother breastfeeds their child. Right, now that we have that out of the way I can get on with my actual post for today.

In my know it all, I have all the answers pre-children life I was certain that smacking would form part of how we would discipline our children. Luke and I have always felt that being smacked during our childhood did not have an adverse effect on us and in fact we believe it was a crucial part of us learning the respect that we both still have for our parents. There was a clear hierarchy within the family unit and while I would never say that my parents were strict, I knew that their decision was final and it was not open for debate.

Grateful For… Taking A Break

If you blinked you probably missed it, but yes I took a bit of a bloggy break this week, and while I know some of you missed me, I am certain you all coped swimmingly without my daily rave. There wasn’t any reason for my absence other than the fact that I was feeling a bit ‘meh’ and since this blog is my happy place I decided to put it in quarantine until I got over it. It wasn’t just the blog that got the cold shoulder either, I pretty much avoided Facebook and Twitter too (oh the horror!) I just felt the need to have a little space and enjoy the Long Weekend fully focussed on my real life.

When Routine Becomes A Rut

I love a good routine, I like knowing what to expect and working to a plan. Once we established a routine for Skye I felt much more at ease because I knew what was suppose to be happening and when. Without routine and plans, I miss things, like paying the car insurance, or booking Bundy’s annual shots and this stresses me out. I am happiest when I have my whole week laid out so I can see where I am going long before I am suppose to be there. I don’t mind being busy, as long as I have booked it in, in fact, the busier the better. But what happens when your routine just becomes a rut?

A Visual Planner for Skye

Something I have struggled with while Luke is away is getting Skye to understand why he is home some days and gone other days. I know she is too little to understand the concept of week days and weekends so I discussed the problem with her carer at Day Care and she suggested that I make a visual calendar with pictures of the activities Skye does each week. She explained how she had used it for another child who always liked to know what he would be doing each day and that it really helped him understand how each day differed.

She said it was not necessary to list the days of the week but it wouldn’t hurt as she may learn this as an added bonus. I figured it would be worth trying and set about making something that we could print out and laminate so she could see it each day and know what to expect.

 

I played around with making a page for each day but thought this might work better for her to see how each day connects to the rest of the week.

Do you have planners or calendars for your children? Have you found them helpful in teaching your children about the regular activities they are involved in each week?

Make sure you have a look at all the other fantastic bloggers linking up with Diary of a SAHM for iBOT this week!

Grateful For… Having A Daughter

I couldn’t tell you why, but I had always thought that when I had children, I would prefer to have boys. 2 boys to be exact. Throughout my pregnancy, people (in their infinite wisdom) told me that I was carrying a boy and after hearing this for so many months, I had all but convinced myself that I was. After I delivered Skye, it was a while before we found out that she was a girl, we were so caught up in the moment and I was so relieved for it to be over I didn’t think to find out. I distinctly remember not believing the midwives when they told me and for the most fleeting moment, I felt disappointed. Having a girl had never really crossed my mind even though we had never had confirmation of the sex during pregnancy. I had always assumed that Luke would want to have a boy too, he is such a mans-man that I had the crazy belief that he would not feel the same about a daughter as he would if he had a son. It is quite obvious that this could not be further from the truth, Skye is his world and she had him wrapped around her little finger from the moment he laid eyes on her.

When Did I Become A Grown Up???

I have had a rather unsettling revelation this week – apparently I am a grown up now. What gave it away you ask? No, not the fact that I will 30 soon, or that I have a mortgage or even that I have a child for that matter. The realisation came following a meeting with the bank to discuss Income Protection and Life Insurance which lead to the suggestion that Luke and I should have a Solicitor and (gulp) the writing of our Will’s. These things have been so far down on my list of priorities that they had never even rated a mention.

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