Too Much Fun Can Be Bad For Your Sanity

The last few weeks we have had far too many of these kinds of incidents happening, both at home and when out and about. Skye has seemed highly strung, anxious and difficult. Constantly. It has made the whole family feel tense and frustrated and honestly it has not been fun to live with. It had reached the point where I was wondering if this was more than just a phase, I was beginning to wonder if there was some kind of behavioural issue we needed to identify.

Really I just needed some kind of validation it wasn't my crap parenting. 

I wanted to be able to say "It's not me, it's you". 

Going on holidays... so hard.

I mean really what is Skye's problem? She gets to do a lot of fun things. In between Preschool and swimming lessons and weekly visits from my mum there are regular play dates with friends and trips to the beach, we make play dough and cookies, we read stories and dance along with Giggle and Hoot.

Living the dream if you ask me.

Catching big fish... so hard.

But sometimes there can be too much of a good thing. 

Hey Mum, Can You Do This?

You know what I think the worst thing about being 3 is? It's not the constant talking, or the selective day sleeps or even the epic meltdowns. That shit I can handle. What I can't handle is the silliness. The general hell for leather flibitty jibbityness that goes on from the moment Skye's eyes are open to the moment her head hits the pillow. I know I should be enjoying her excited enthusiasm but honestly it's just bloody exhausting! 

                              

      

And dangerous.

Meltdown Mary

Have you ever had your child lose their shit in front of someone so spectacularly and so completely that you honestly do not know what to do? In such an instance have you ever responded in such an entirely unexpected and inappropriate way that you worry that said people may just question your abilities as a parent?

I have and I did. 

Usually I can see a meltdown coming. Believe me, in the last 3.5 years Skye has given me plenty of practice. Today, not so much. Today I was taken completely off-guard by how quickly we went from zero to inconsolable. 

A surprise attack.

One minute we were discussing my need to feed Hayden before we went outside to play in our friends new sandpit and the next minute I was being screamed at. Not about the sandpit though, oh no, that would be logical. I was being screamed at because I had forgotten to pack some DVD's for our play date as per our discussion earlier that morning. 

Yes. Sorry about that. It must have slipped my mind what with the packing for swimming lessons and remembering to post the final house plans to the builder and answering the urgent emails and how about JUST BE FUCKING HAPPY YOU ARE HAVING A PLAYDATE WITH YOUR FRIEND DAMNIT!

Even as far as Skye tantrums go, this was a pretty good one. There was arm flailing and leg stiffening and teeth gnashing. It was truly a sight to behold. 

Tantrum level: Exorcist.

Right when I thought she was about to vomit on herself I looked at her and I just could not help myself.

I laughed. 

And laughed.

In a nervous, guffawing, can't stop myself, maniacal kind of way.

This did nothing for Skye's fit of rage. 

She wasn't terribly coherent at this point but she did manage to get out an IT'S NOT FUNNY! Before throwing a couple of swings at me. 

This made me laugh even more.

Parenting level: DOCS

Had we been at home she would have been put in her room at the first shriek, but I had not expected her to put on such as show in someone else's home. The sheer ridiculousness of the whole thing caused me to freeze. 

Was this really happening? 

Why is this even happening? 

Why the hell do I bother trying to do fun things? 

At that point, I really should have taken her home and put her straight to bed but Hayden still needed to be fed and it was such a beautiful day outside I thought taking her out to the sandpit would calm her down.

That was my second mistake.

Turns out my friends excited, jumpy little Jack Russell terrier was more than she could handle and once again she was off. Thank God we were outside because the noise she was making would have been deafening indoors. 

This time there was no laughing. 

Admitting defeat I loaded the kids and my multitude of DVDless bags into the car, made my apologies and got the hell out of there. 

It took me an hour to drive the 10 minute trip home because Skye and Hayden both fell asleep before I hit the first corner and I sure as shit was not going to wake them up before they were ready!

Got any tips for dealing with mega tantrums? 

Have you ever been so floored by a child's meltdown that all you could do was laugh???

Newborns: Not So Scary The Second Time Around

Throughout my pregnancy with Hayden I worried about how I would cope with the newborn phase again. When Skye was born I wasn't hit with the instant overwhelming bond of mother and babe. I knew she was mine, I knew that I loved her, but she scared me. I felt a little lost and unsure as I am sure most first time mums feel. Even though my birth experience with Skye was by comparison straightforward and dare I say it, even easy, I felt that I had " failed" because we had required Ventouse. 

I struggled with breastfeeding, and swaddling and putting tiny hands in Wondersuits. But more than anything, I had not come to grips with the complete change to your every waking thought and movement a baby has. I spent much of those early months with Skye resenting the demands of a newborn and how unaffected those around me seemed to be. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get everything "right" and missed a little of the magic.

Skye was gorgeous but scary.

Picking my Battles

I have to admit, I'm not very good at picking my battles. I'm always worried if I let something slide once, I am doomed. I am also a firm believer in not backing down when I have said no, not matter how severe the tantrum, or how petty the argument may be.  As you can imagine, in my constant effort to establish my position of authority, we have had some spectacularly ludicrous battles. 

Now that Skye is old enough to enjoy arguing back and has mastered the art of the pester, I have had to change my approach slightly. 

If only to prevent myself from developing an ulcer.

Skye is nearly 4 which means day time naps still happen, but not every day, I run on more of an as needs basis and on the days they are needed, Skye will still sleep for 2 hours. Which is great until bedtime rolls around and she is still making requests for milk and cuddles and custard well past 9pm! On the days when she really should have had a sleep and for whatever reason doesn't, well, I am sure you know how pleasant an overtired 3 year old is by dinner time. Then, of course, there is always the risk of the Nap of Doom happening at 5:30pm. Nap of Doom is never a good thing.

Yesterday was a borderline day.

Newborns vs Toddlers - A Day At The Shops

When Skye was a newborn, the very idea of leaving the house with her terrified me. The first time I had to take her to visit the baby clinic nurse I was so anxious I packed the triple checked nappy bag and pram into the car the night before, and had my mum, who lives an hour away, come with me to make sure I didn't bugger up the whole car seat/pram biz on my first solo outing. I freaked out about nap and feed times clashing with appointments, stressed about whether there would be a parents room available if Skye needed a feed, and dreaded what I would do if she had a nappy explosion in the car.

As she got older, I began to realise just how straight-forward a trip out with a newborn actually is when compared to taking a toddler along as your shopping buddy. Not to mention the nappy bag overflowing with snacks and toys and dead flowers pinched from some beautifully landscaped display home.

To demonstrate my point I have put together a little timeline of a simple trip to a Shopping Centre requiring me to get some pyjamas / sleeping suits and some milk.

Going out with a newborn

Pack nappy bag.

Make sure you have twice as many nappies as you would think reasonable for a 3 hour trip, I like to run with about 8. You will also need wipes, disposable nappy bags, a full change of clothes with warm and cold weather options, a couple of wraps and if breastfeeding, be sure to check you packed your boobs.

Load baby into car.

Drive to destination listening to all of your favourite rude words songs while baby sleeps peacefully.

                                    

Arrive at your destination, load baby into pram, store nappy bag, enter Shopping Centre.

Baby will most likely want to be fed before you get started so grab a coffee and some kind of cake and find a parent room or quiet spot to feed baby.

Baby will most likely have filled their nappy during the feed so change baby, finish your coffee and head  towards your first shop. 

Purchase Wondersuits and Baby Sleeping Bag.

                                    

     

Realise baby has fallen asleep so take advantage and peruse a couple of other shops, buy yourself a cute pair of shoes then pick up the milk.

Sense baby is beginning to stir and return to car.

Load baby, pram, nappy bag and purchases into the car.

Drive home listening to all of your favourite rude words songs while baby sleeps peacefully.

Arrive home, feed and change baby.

Put baby to bed.

Have a coffee and unpack purchases and give yourself a pat on the back for a successful day out.

Going out with a toddler.

Pack nappy bag.

If toddler is still in nappies, pack as many as you would think reasonable for a 3 hour trip. I like to run with about 3. You will also need wipes, disposable nappy bags, a full change of clothes, a jumper, hat, dummy, blankie, a sandwich, apple, banana, sultanas, drink, muesli bar, le snack, grapes and a mandarin, don't forget the 3 most popular toys of the day including a ride on unicorn and a plastic cash register.

Load toddler and various paraphernalia into the car, it should take about 3 trips.

Drive to destination while fielding questions from your toddler about the rain, cat whiskers and why you have toes. Feed toddler the apple, muesli bar and drink. Sing the incy wincy spider eleventy billion times.

Arrive at your destination, almost crash your car because your toddler has asked you to LOOK AT THIS!!! as you are pulling into your parking space. 

Explain to toddler that daddy cannot get her out of the car because daddy is at work. 

Forcibly remove toddler from car and explain to toddler that she must go into the pram because it is too far to walk.

Forcibly secure toddler into pram, give toddler a sandwich, store nappy bag, find a space for the ride unicorn, enter Shopping Centre.

Toddler will most likely want to play in the play centre before you get started so grab a coffee and some kind of cake and move to the play equipment.

Surrender cake to toddler.

                                     

Toddler will most likely have filled their nappy during this time so go to parents room to change them. 

Head towards your first shop.

Give toddler a box of sultanas.

Purchase pyjamas, 4 pink t shirts, a pair of light up joggers, a plastic lion, a glitter hat and a lollipop. 

Realise toddler has tipped contents of sultanas onto the floor, continue walking. 

Quickly.

Sense toddler is about to crack it, return to the car.

Load toddler, pram, nappy bag, ride on unicorn and purchases into the car.

Drive home listening to your toddler complain that they want to get out.

See your toddler fall asleep as you turn into your street.

                                 

    

Attempt to transfer toddler into the house while still sleeping. Toddler will most likely wake up believing she has slept for 2 hours and does not require any more rest today. 

Attempt to make a coffee and discover you forgot to buy the milk.

Listen to over-tired toddler having a hissy fit because you put the grapes in the green bowl instead of the pink one.

Vow to make all future purchases online.

We're Gonna Need A Bigger Bed

I have known this day would come but I was doing my best to ignore it while we were living in Limbo Land not knowing exactly where we might be living when Baby Bond arrived, well that has been my excuse anyway.

But the time has come, I can't avoid it any longer. 

Skye is going to need a Big Girl Bed.

Yes, at almost 3 years old, Skye is still sleeping in her cot. I never meant for her to stay there that long, but through a combination of lack of space, a desire to avoid too many changes too quickly and lets face it, laziness on my part because the cot keeps her trapped until I say she can get out, she is still in there.

Now that we have sold the house and will be moving into a rental property in a matter of weeks, I feel that now is as good a time as any for her to make the transition. That and the fact that there is another little person due to arrive in less than 2 months who is going to need somewhere to sleep! 

Writers Block? No, Just Clingy Toddler.

So many posts, so little brain capacity. That's whats happening around here right now. I have roughly four half written posts waiting for me to make sense of them but every time I sit down to finish one my brain goes into sleep mode. 


So I give up and watch Real Housewives, or Jersey Shore (because that won't kill my brain cells).


The only thing that is really going through my head lately is Skye's voice, in various states of whine. 


The joys of a toddler going through a clingy phase.


She has had them before and no doubt will have them again. Generally they coincide with a new tooth and since she still has a couple of molars to come through, I suspect that is probably the cause. But my God, Skye seems to have found a whole new level of demanding this week after insisting that she shower with me while I tried to wash my hair. 


Not such a big deal except that she wanted me to hold her the whole time. 14kgs of slippery toddler and shampoo are not a good combination. 


Mr Bond is away for work again which means there is no one to share the load. Not that it would help anyway, Skye wouldn't even let Gran get her out of the car this week because 'mum do it'. 


Actually I think 'mum do it', would have to be the sentence of the week.


Skye, can you put your shorts on? 'Mum do it.'


Mr Bond tries to get Skye out of her cot in the morning 'Mum do it.'


Skye, can you take your socks off? 'Mum do it.'


Skye, who's turn is it to take you to bed? 'Mum do it.'


Mr Bond tries to assist by running the bath 'Mum do it.'


I know I am good, but I am positive other people are just as capable of these menial tasks as I am. 


It's starting to impact on my ability to retain anything for more than two minutes. Real conversations with adults see me drifting off mid-sentence, asking the same question over and over, or just forgetting what I was about to say because Skye requires me to pick her up.


I don't generally like to indulge her too much during these clingy phases, but I just don't have the mental capacity to think long term about my actions. I didn't even realise I was already wearing the pair of earrings I just spent half an hour searching for this morning so I doubt I am capable of proactive parenting.


Sigh.


Here's hoping the teeth come through soon and I can stop writing rubbish posts like this!

Babycino's, Fluffy Slippers and Car Strollers - The Essentials Of Car Servicing

This week it was time to get the car serviced. Oh the joy. When you live hundreds of miles (ok, like 20 minutes) from everything, it's just not practical to drop the car off and then try to get back home only to have to try and get back to pick the car up a matter of hours later. Plus, public transport is pretty much non-existent on the Central Coast of NSW, so our best option is to make a day of it at the nearby Westfield Shopping Centre. 


This time I thought I had it all planned out. After too many occasions where I thought I would be nice and tell them I had no particular time I needed the car back thus spending roughly 7 hours pacing up and down the same 5 stores waiting for my magic phone call, I had told them that I required the car back at lunchtime. We would go to the shops for a couple of hours and pick up a couple of things, then head home in time for a nap.


Perfect.


Never going to happen.

Managing Day Care / Life Balance With Toddlers

This year we started sending Skye to Day Care two days a week rather than just one. I wasn't really sure if it was necessary, and I did feel a bit guilty about it, but late last year she seemed to enjoy going an extra day when there was a vacancy and I figured it was better to take the spot while it was available with the option of dropping it if it was too much, rather than trying to get her an extra day when there were no vacancies. 


I won't lie, the idea of having two days to myself was pretty appealing too. At the time when the spot was offered, Mr Bond was still working away and it was getting close to Christmas so staying on top of everything was getting overwhelming.

The Top 10 Symptoms of 'Toddler'

Recently I have been struck down with a condition referred to in medical journals as Tiny Tornadoistis, but it is most commonly known as 'Toddler'. Symptoms may be mild or extreme depending on each individual case and can last for months or even years. There is no known cure for 'Toddler', but the condition will usually resolve itself in time. If you suspect that you, or someone you know is suffering from 'Toddler' here is a quick reference guide for the top 10 symptoms to look out for.

What do you mean you don't like my outfit?

Not My Finest Parenting Moment

Discipline has been a big issue in our house lately. Skye is making full use of her terrible two status and ensuring that even the simplest of instructions are met with resistance. Needing to change her nappy, or put a shirt on, or get in the car usually results in Skye running and hiding in the tiniest space she can find. Swipes to my face in protest are common when I try to speak to her about her behaviour and at times she will flat out ignore me as if I am not even in the same room. Nothing out of the ordinary for her age, but exhausting none the less.

 

Proud Mummy Moments– My Sweet Natured Girl

Real life has been getting in the way of Eat Play Bond recently and this meant that I missed my chance to link up with Diary of a SAHM’s iBOT this week. Luckily for me Jess has decided to do another linky this week which is giving all of the adoring and proud mummies out there a chance to brag about their gifted and special offspring and celebrate the proud moments of other mummies too. Kind of like a big virtual high five to all of us for raising such wonderful children. You can check all of the posts out here.

I have a lot of proud mummy moments, like when I realised that Skye can identify an obscure animal in a book, or that she can sing the ABC song, or drink out of a big girl cup. But the things that make me proudest are when I see another aspect of her personality developing and how she is becoming a little person in her own right.

Toilet Training–The Girl Who Cried Poo!

We are in the ‘getting to know you’ stage of toilet training right now. We have been here for quite a few months. We started early with introducing Skye to the idea of using a toilet (around 14 months) and she was regularly doing her evening poop on the toilet without issue, but things stalled after a month or two and then there was an all out refusal for such a long time I wondered if Skye would be wearing nappies to her first day of Kindergarten! I don’t want to push her and cause her stress but I also know that she is a child that sometimes needs a little extra persuasion to get on board with things.

It’s normal to get a manicure on the toilet right?

Is There Ever Any Satisfaction With Now?

In my short time being a mum I have found that no matter what age your child is, people are always commenting on what lay ahead. Any remark you may make regarding your child’s behaviour or developmental milestone’s is met with some variation of “that’s nothing, wait until they are xxx, then you will be in trouble”. I find it frustrating that they seem unable to simply celebrate or in some cases sympathise with the situation we are living right at that moment. When I was enjoying the thrill of seeing Skye crawling for the first time, I didn’t want to be deflated by someone saying “it won’t be long now and she will be running around” as if the crawling itself was not enough. When I was up through the night with Skye cutting her first teeth, the last thing I wanted to hear was how horrific the molars will be. It wasn’t that I was in denial of the future, but the stages come so quickly already, the thought of what would be happening 6 – 12 months from now was more than I could cope with. Having said that, I am guilty of it too, but I still don’t understand why we do it. Is it because people want to shift the focus onto themselves and their own expert opinions? Is it just human nature to drive a child’s development? Or is it a reflection of the instant gratification culture we now live in? No matter what the case may be, it seems that right now is never good enough.

The Day Nap Dilemma

At the risk of receiving floods of hate mail, I am going to share a little fact about Skye – she still has a 2-3 hour nap every afternoon. It’s wonderful, and I’m sorry. Aside from some issues in the early months, Skye has always been a pretty good sleeper which I had always put down to my exceptional parenting skills. Actually that’s rubbish, yes my unwavering loyalty to our routine may have helped, as did the use of comfort aids such as a dummy and blankie, but the fact is that Skye wants to sleep, I know this because on the occasions when she does not want to go to sleep, I’ve got nothin’. Short of doping her out on Phenergan, I simply cannot convince her to nap if she does not feel so inclined.

An extra long nap last week.

Dora the Explorer AKA Toddler Crack

We have a bit of a dependency problem in our house right now and it’s far worse than any dummy issues we have had. Dora the Explorer has infiltrated my home and taken hold of my innocent little girl. At the moment, I am at a loss as to how to overcome the problem. Actually I don’t know how it even got to this point, it just kind of crept up on us and now we are dealing with a pretty serious addiction to the big-headed demon with the purple backpack.

Dora stop f*%cking around and get a GPS Image Credit

Bye Bye Dummy!

Top of my list of goals for 2012 was to get Skye to give up her dummy. I have never been all that happy about her having one and as she has gotten older, her dependency on it has made me increasingly uncomfortable. Recently, she had been wanting to have it all day and while I tried to restrict it to just sleep times, she constantly asked for it and never wanted it out of arms reach, I thought we were a long way off convincing her to give it up, but a chance incident in the backyard was our opportunity to say bye-bye.

Happiness Is… Reconnecting With The Real World

 

 

 

 

I would like to thank everyone for their support in 2011 and look forward to sharing more of our adventures in 2012. I hope you like my new look, please let me know your thoughts xx.

Happiness Is… A Little Helper In The Kitchen