Things That Go Roll In The Night

3am. A time that was once reserved for eating greasy pluto pups and staggering not-so-gracefully home from the pub. These days, there is still bleary-eyed staggering, but it is limited to the confines of my house, and there is a significant lack of pluto pups. Or booze.

The reason for my staggering lately is this:

Rolling Ninja

And his new game I like to call "I've rolled over and I need you to fix it".

The boy is super quick on the escape roll when I need to get him dressed, or change his nappy, but he has yet to work out how to roll back. 

Which is where I come in.

Were he to play the game once a night I could probably just get up, flip him back over and go back to bed. But Hayden really likes his new game, that or he is a slow learner, because the moment I get back into bed he is back on his stomach and squealing to be rescued. His current record is 5 times in half an hour.

Frankly, it's driving me bonkers.

He isn't hungry, he isn't wet, he isn't too hot or too cold. His teething seems to be inconsequential. He just likes to roll over and then complain about it. Short of stapling his sleeping bag to the mattress I am running out of ideas.

On the upside I am struggling far less with the idea of not having any more babies!

Joining in with Essentially Jess for iBOT. Pop over and check out who else has linked up.

Too Much Fun Can Be Bad For Your Sanity

The last few weeks we have had far too many of these kinds of incidents happening, both at home and when out and about. Skye has seemed highly strung, anxious and difficult. Constantly. It has made the whole family feel tense and frustrated and honestly it has not been fun to live with. It had reached the point where I was wondering if this was more than just a phase, I was beginning to wonder if there was some kind of behavioural issue we needed to identify.

Really I just needed some kind of validation it wasn't my crap parenting. 

I wanted to be able to say "It's not me, it's you". 

Going on holidays... so hard.

I mean really what is Skye's problem? She gets to do a lot of fun things. In between Preschool and swimming lessons and weekly visits from my mum there are regular play dates with friends and trips to the beach, we make play dough and cookies, we read stories and dance along with Giggle and Hoot.

Living the dream if you ask me.

Catching big fish... so hard.

But sometimes there can be too much of a good thing. 

Hey Mum, Can You Do This?

You know what I think the worst thing about being 3 is? It's not the constant talking, or the selective day sleeps or even the epic meltdowns. That shit I can handle. What I can't handle is the silliness. The general hell for leather flibitty jibbityness that goes on from the moment Skye's eyes are open to the moment her head hits the pillow. I know I should be enjoying her excited enthusiasm but honestly it's just bloody exhausting! 

                              

      

And dangerous.

Would You Like Lighting With That?

Building your own home is a tricky business. Even talking about the possibility of maybe thinking about building a house can be enough to cause a migraine. After working in the Building Industry and having some involvement in judging display homes in the area, I thought I was pretty savvy with picking out what was a standard inclusion and what was going to send our final price through the roof. As we went along and I got some written quotes from a number of different builders I gained even more insight into how much to add onto that pretty, non-threatening base price they like to throw at you in the Sales Office. After even further investigation I managed to decipher some of the vague terminology they use and what that actually means to the final product. But try as I might I still could not be confident that their final price was actually final. Add to that the fact that no two builders have the same standard of inclusions and it is almost impossible to determine who is the most suitable builder and how far your money will really go. 

In an effort to reduce the chances of someone else losing their mind as they wade through the pages of fine print, I have put together a little run down of some of the things I have encountered so far. As a general rule if it looks good in the display home, you will be paying extra for it. More specifically, expect these to be an upgrade.

Meltdown Mary

Have you ever had your child lose their shit in front of someone so spectacularly and so completely that you honestly do not know what to do? In such an instance have you ever responded in such an entirely unexpected and inappropriate way that you worry that said people may just question your abilities as a parent?

I have and I did. 

Usually I can see a meltdown coming. Believe me, in the last 3.5 years Skye has given me plenty of practice. Today, not so much. Today I was taken completely off-guard by how quickly we went from zero to inconsolable. 

A surprise attack.

One minute we were discussing my need to feed Hayden before we went outside to play in our friends new sandpit and the next minute I was being screamed at. Not about the sandpit though, oh no, that would be logical. I was being screamed at because I had forgotten to pack some DVD's for our play date as per our discussion earlier that morning. 

Yes. Sorry about that. It must have slipped my mind what with the packing for swimming lessons and remembering to post the final house plans to the builder and answering the urgent emails and how about JUST BE FUCKING HAPPY YOU ARE HAVING A PLAYDATE WITH YOUR FRIEND DAMNIT!

Even as far as Skye tantrums go, this was a pretty good one. There was arm flailing and leg stiffening and teeth gnashing. It was truly a sight to behold. 

Tantrum level: Exorcist.

Right when I thought she was about to vomit on herself I looked at her and I just could not help myself.

I laughed. 

And laughed.

In a nervous, guffawing, can't stop myself, maniacal kind of way.

This did nothing for Skye's fit of rage. 

She wasn't terribly coherent at this point but she did manage to get out an IT'S NOT FUNNY! Before throwing a couple of swings at me. 

This made me laugh even more.

Parenting level: DOCS

Had we been at home she would have been put in her room at the first shriek, but I had not expected her to put on such as show in someone else's home. The sheer ridiculousness of the whole thing caused me to freeze. 

Was this really happening? 

Why is this even happening? 

Why the hell do I bother trying to do fun things? 

At that point, I really should have taken her home and put her straight to bed but Hayden still needed to be fed and it was such a beautiful day outside I thought taking her out to the sandpit would calm her down.

That was my second mistake.

Turns out my friends excited, jumpy little Jack Russell terrier was more than she could handle and once again she was off. Thank God we were outside because the noise she was making would have been deafening indoors. 

This time there was no laughing. 

Admitting defeat I loaded the kids and my multitude of DVDless bags into the car, made my apologies and got the hell out of there. 

It took me an hour to drive the 10 minute trip home because Skye and Hayden both fell asleep before I hit the first corner and I sure as shit was not going to wake them up before they were ready!

Got any tips for dealing with mega tantrums? 

Have you ever been so floored by a child's meltdown that all you could do was laugh???

Welcome To The Danger Zone

Right now, Hayden is in that blissful stage where he is beginning to become his own little person, but has no strong views on anything. He is still yet to crawl (although I feel my days of being able to say this are numbered), he can sit on his own, feed himself pieces of food, he laughs and giggles and squeals with excitement. He sleeps. A lot. He is all-in-all a content, joyful, loving little bundle of baby boy.

This makes him dangerous.

His sweet, snuggly, chubby deliciousness is an assault on my measured and practical decision that there will be no more babies for Casa De Bond.

Welcome to the Danger Zone. 

The time when routine and predictability begins to emerge, when sleeping through is a consistent and reliable notion, when you can see a real excitement for the world around them in their eyes and your days are filled with a steady stream of 'firsts'.  The time when I am so enamoured by their squishy, smiley newness that I don't want it to end!

Cluck.

This was never part of the plan. The plan was to have two children, feel blessed and enjoy a life of regular sized cars and separate bedrooms and a balanced parent to child ratio. Aside from the whole pesky pregnancy and birth bit there is the patience factor. Something both myself and Mr Bond are quite lacking in. 

I know my limits and I know I have reached them.

But then this happens.

And this.

And then there is a little bit of this.

Suddenly the plan seems a little flawed.

Why can't he just stay this size forever?!? Is that too much to ask?

When I first held Hayden I was sure that our family was complete, my work was done, there was no need to ask for anything more. I still feel that way, but all this cute stuff is wearing me down. Selective memory is starting to kick in and all the hard stuff seems a little less hard. He didn't wake up THAT much, my nipples weren't THAT cracked, Skye didn't take THAT long to adjust. 

Honestly, the bullshit we tell ourselves.

Ask me now I feel about the matter 12 months from now when Skye will be getting ready to start big school and Hayden is heading into the terrible two's. It's highly likely I will laugh hysterically at the mere notion of more babies.

I just have to get through the Danger Zone.

Pray for me.

Err, not you Hayden, that's not helping.

Newborns: Not So Scary The Second Time Around

Throughout my pregnancy with Hayden I worried about how I would cope with the newborn phase again. When Skye was born I wasn't hit with the instant overwhelming bond of mother and babe. I knew she was mine, I knew that I loved her, but she scared me. I felt a little lost and unsure as I am sure most first time mums feel. Even though my birth experience with Skye was by comparison straightforward and dare I say it, even easy, I felt that I had " failed" because we had required Ventouse. 

I struggled with breastfeeding, and swaddling and putting tiny hands in Wondersuits. But more than anything, I had not come to grips with the complete change to your every waking thought and movement a baby has. I spent much of those early months with Skye resenting the demands of a newborn and how unaffected those around me seemed to be. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get everything "right" and missed a little of the magic.

Skye was gorgeous but scary.

8 Months Old Already?!?

Hayden turned 8 months old this week. I cannot get over how quickly the time is going. Skye seemed to be 3 months old forever and because I knew we would have more babies, I didn't feel so desperate to hold onto every moment of baby like I do this time. This time I just want him to stay this size forever. But since that is entirely impossible, the next best thing is to write a totally self indulgent post detailing all of the things I love about my little boy right now.

I took Hayden for his check up with the baby nurse this week. He weighs 9.3kgs and is 73cms long. He is wearing size 1 clothing and "toddler" size nappies. I have already filled 2 suitcases with clothing that he has grown out of. His healthy development does nothing to ease my sadness that he is no longer a tiny newborn.

Picking my Battles

I have to admit, I'm not very good at picking my battles. I'm always worried if I let something slide once, I am doomed. I am also a firm believer in not backing down when I have said no, not matter how severe the tantrum, or how petty the argument may be.  As you can imagine, in my constant effort to establish my position of authority, we have had some spectacularly ludicrous battles. 

Now that Skye is old enough to enjoy arguing back and has mastered the art of the pester, I have had to change my approach slightly. 

If only to prevent myself from developing an ulcer.

Skye is nearly 4 which means day time naps still happen, but not every day, I run on more of an as needs basis and on the days they are needed, Skye will still sleep for 2 hours. Which is great until bedtime rolls around and she is still making requests for milk and cuddles and custard well past 9pm! On the days when she really should have had a sleep and for whatever reason doesn't, well, I am sure you know how pleasant an overtired 3 year old is by dinner time. Then, of course, there is always the risk of the Nap of Doom happening at 5:30pm. Nap of Doom is never a good thing.

Yesterday was a borderline day.

Extreme Couponing

Move over Real Housewives of Everywhere, I have a new series linked obsession. Actually it's a bit sad, but I am hooked.

Extreme Couponing. 

It's pathetic and embarrassing and I love it.

If you have not yet had the pleasure, the show basically follows an "Extreme Couponer" as they prepare and execute a massive shopping trip armed with a folder or box crate full of neatly clipped and itemised coupons. The aim of the game is to get as much as they can, for very little out of pocket expense. It doesn't really go into how these people are able to amass such large numbers of coupons, although some have been known to climb into recyling waste bins...

You also get to see their personal "stock pile" of free or heavily discounted items lining the walls of their homes. Paper towel seems to be a popular item, as is deodarant, sports drinks, tooth paste and cereal. Obviously items with a long shelf life are the most desirable.

But its the suspense of the checkout that really has me sucked in, the whole process is rife with potential hiccups.

Did they count out exactly 700 toothbrushes?

Will all of their coupons scan correctly?

Is the checkout chick going to lose her shit at having to spend 3 hours serving 1 anxious, hyperventilating tightarse?

Edge of your seat stuff I tell you.

I find myself cheering for the reductions and marvelling at the savings. 

How on earth do they do it? 

How did they just buy $1,000 worth of groceries and the store owes them money?

What the hell are they going to do with 94 packets of croutons? 

Most importantly, why don't we have couponing in Australia? 

I think I would be good at it. I have couponing nerd written all over me. Nothing gets me more excited than a spreadsheet of promised savings. I have even put one together to track our spending before. Not to mention the meticulously labeled and ordered folders that you need to keep it all organised.

Yep, I was made for couponing. Get me in there!

As much as the show amuses me, if I let myself think about it too long it actually is a little bit depressing. I think it's great that families are able to recover from financial hardship using this system, but I can't help but worry about the sheer compulsive consumerism of a 16 year old boy proudly displaying his shelf of feminine hygiene products that he just had to get because they were free. The same kid that complained he had to go 5 weeks without couponing because his inconsiderate bastard family took him to Mexico for a holiday. 

And I don't care how good the sale was, I cannot see a reason why I would need a 50 year supply of the same crappy roll on deodarant sitting in my garage. Variety is the spice of life people!

Still, it kinda leaves our 2 Helga loaves for $6 for dead doesn't it?

Being a Mum is so Glamourous

For the last month or so Casa De Bond has been plagued by a steady stream of Preschooler illnesses. Amongst the normal winter sniffles we have also dealt with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease, the flu, conjunctivitis and worms. 

Fun times.

The actual illnesses have not been that severe, but due to their highly contagious nature, it has been a terrible inconvenience to our social life. Not to mention my sanity as I have had to essentially quarantine myself with 2 small children whilst we wait for the latest bout of cooties to pass.

The constant trips to the chemist are a bit painful too.

Case in point, today. 

Skye's Preschool had informed us of a case of worms at the centre and although Skye was showing no sign of being affected, I thought that it would be best to be prepared so we called into the chemist on the way home. I had a few other things I needed to grab while I was there, but thought it would be simple enough to breeze in, pick up my supplies and be on my merry way. However having never had to deal with this particular issue before, it was necessary to ask the staff for some guidance, especially if we needed to treat myself or Hayden.

Not being able to even find the worms section, I gave the assistant on the counter a run down of what we needed and she went over the back to ask the pharmacist. 

The young, fit and not entirely unattractive pharmacist. Which in itself should be illegal. 

He, of course, needed more information, but rather than come out from behind the dispensary to discuss our options, he decided to enquire, in a rather loud voice, if I also required treatment. 

Thanks for that.

I'm fairly certain I squirmed in a way that would suggest I did in fact need a dose before managing to blurt out err, no, it's just in case at this stage. PREVENTATIVE.

The need for shouting was not helped by Skye standing at my side repeatedly asking for jelly beans. 

Because apparently that is the only reason anyone goes into a chemist. 

Flustered by entirely too much conversation about such a revolting topic and the incessant sound of my darling daughter in full pester power mode, I finally turned my attention back to her only to discover she had been busily throwing the packet of super overnight maxi pads I had placed on the counter up in the air to help emphasise her demands. 

Sigh.

Motherhood is so glamourous.

Have you ever had a mortifying moment in the chemist? 

Do you think there are professions where attractiveness can be inappropriate?

 

Newborns vs Toddlers - A Day At The Shops

When Skye was a newborn, the very idea of leaving the house with her terrified me. The first time I had to take her to visit the baby clinic nurse I was so anxious I packed the triple checked nappy bag and pram into the car the night before, and had my mum, who lives an hour away, come with me to make sure I didn't bugger up the whole car seat/pram biz on my first solo outing. I freaked out about nap and feed times clashing with appointments, stressed about whether there would be a parents room available if Skye needed a feed, and dreaded what I would do if she had a nappy explosion in the car.

As she got older, I began to realise just how straight-forward a trip out with a newborn actually is when compared to taking a toddler along as your shopping buddy. Not to mention the nappy bag overflowing with snacks and toys and dead flowers pinched from some beautifully landscaped display home.

To demonstrate my point I have put together a little timeline of a simple trip to a Shopping Centre requiring me to get some pyjamas / sleeping suits and some milk.

Going out with a newborn

Pack nappy bag.

Make sure you have twice as many nappies as you would think reasonable for a 3 hour trip, I like to run with about 8. You will also need wipes, disposable nappy bags, a full change of clothes with warm and cold weather options, a couple of wraps and if breastfeeding, be sure to check you packed your boobs.

Load baby into car.

Drive to destination listening to all of your favourite rude words songs while baby sleeps peacefully.

                                    

Arrive at your destination, load baby into pram, store nappy bag, enter Shopping Centre.

Baby will most likely want to be fed before you get started so grab a coffee and some kind of cake and find a parent room or quiet spot to feed baby.

Baby will most likely have filled their nappy during the feed so change baby, finish your coffee and head  towards your first shop. 

Purchase Wondersuits and Baby Sleeping Bag.

                                    

     

Realise baby has fallen asleep so take advantage and peruse a couple of other shops, buy yourself a cute pair of shoes then pick up the milk.

Sense baby is beginning to stir and return to car.

Load baby, pram, nappy bag and purchases into the car.

Drive home listening to all of your favourite rude words songs while baby sleeps peacefully.

Arrive home, feed and change baby.

Put baby to bed.

Have a coffee and unpack purchases and give yourself a pat on the back for a successful day out.

Going out with a toddler.

Pack nappy bag.

If toddler is still in nappies, pack as many as you would think reasonable for a 3 hour trip. I like to run with about 3. You will also need wipes, disposable nappy bags, a full change of clothes, a jumper, hat, dummy, blankie, a sandwich, apple, banana, sultanas, drink, muesli bar, le snack, grapes and a mandarin, don't forget the 3 most popular toys of the day including a ride on unicorn and a plastic cash register.

Load toddler and various paraphernalia into the car, it should take about 3 trips.

Drive to destination while fielding questions from your toddler about the rain, cat whiskers and why you have toes. Feed toddler the apple, muesli bar and drink. Sing the incy wincy spider eleventy billion times.

Arrive at your destination, almost crash your car because your toddler has asked you to LOOK AT THIS!!! as you are pulling into your parking space. 

Explain to toddler that daddy cannot get her out of the car because daddy is at work. 

Forcibly remove toddler from car and explain to toddler that she must go into the pram because it is too far to walk.

Forcibly secure toddler into pram, give toddler a sandwich, store nappy bag, find a space for the ride unicorn, enter Shopping Centre.

Toddler will most likely want to play in the play centre before you get started so grab a coffee and some kind of cake and move to the play equipment.

Surrender cake to toddler.

                                     

Toddler will most likely have filled their nappy during this time so go to parents room to change them. 

Head towards your first shop.

Give toddler a box of sultanas.

Purchase pyjamas, 4 pink t shirts, a pair of light up joggers, a plastic lion, a glitter hat and a lollipop. 

Realise toddler has tipped contents of sultanas onto the floor, continue walking. 

Quickly.

Sense toddler is about to crack it, return to the car.

Load toddler, pram, nappy bag, ride on unicorn and purchases into the car.

Drive home listening to your toddler complain that they want to get out.

See your toddler fall asleep as you turn into your street.

                                 

    

Attempt to transfer toddler into the house while still sleeping. Toddler will most likely wake up believing she has slept for 2 hours and does not require any more rest today. 

Attempt to make a coffee and discover you forgot to buy the milk.

Listen to over-tired toddler having a hissy fit because you put the grapes in the green bowl instead of the pink one.

Vow to make all future purchases online.

In the Calm of the Night

Today was a long day, actually it has been a long week. But today, today was the hardest. Skye is sick with a cold, nothing serious, but enough to make her short tempered and hard to reason with. Hayden, my usually placid, happy ray of sunshine had his 4 month (yes I said 4 month!) needles and whilst he took the whole process in his stride, as the day wore on, he was only going to be quiet if I was holding him. After a week of feeling like I just couldn't do enough, for enough people, quickly enough, my energy was spent. I had nothing left to give and I found myself counting down the clock, willing the day to be over.

I really hate to feel like that.

I hate feeling like I am just going through the motions.

I hate feeling ungrateful.

Today, I had a moment of ear popping rage that made me want to shout loud screamy swear words at Mr Bond so badly, for no other reason than I was worn down. But with one child finally asleep and the one likely to repeat my loud sweary words sitting right next to me, I held my tongue.

Just.

Now, as I sit in the quiet calm of the night, finally alone, able to breathe deeply for the first time today, the weight has lifted and my mind has cleared.

Today wasn't really so bad. Yes it was tough, but sometimes I think I expect too much.

Of course Skye is cranky and over sensitive, she is miserable from all the coughing and spluttering. She just wants her mummy, like everyone (including me, still) wants when they aren't feeling well.

Sometimes I forget she too is still very much a baby.

My first baby.

Of course Hayden wants to be held. He got two needles and a live vaccine this morning, it's completely normal for him to be feeling clingy. If this is my idea of him being difficult, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Now, with the lights dimmed and the TV low, I can remember feeling similar resentment at the constant needing when Skye was Hayden's age. The incessant physical contact, the round the clock alertness to duty, the feeling that as much as others may offer to help, it ultimately is on me to look after things. Only this time, I have the benefit of knowing how quickly the intensity of that dependence fades and how much I will miss it once its gone.

Now, with everyone sleeping soundly, I can recall that today I made Hayden laugh his first laugh, and the way his face lit up when he realised what he had done. I can recall that today Skye came home from Preschool beaming that she had made some new friends after weeks of saying that the other kids wouldn't play with her. I cannot tell you what a relief it was to hear the excitement in her voice.

Now, as I sit in the calm of the night, I realise that today, all my children asked of me was a little extra love, and if that's all they really needed, then today was a pretty good day after all.

Toilet Training Progress Report

Worst.

Post title.

Ever.

The fact is there is NO toilet training progress. 

We are at the same stage of toilet training now that we were 5 months ago and frankly the cost of Pull Ups is sending us broke. 

Skye will happily drop a dooce in the toilet unprompted and I am eternally grateful to not be dealing with THAT in a 3.5 year olds nappy. But the idea of weeing anywhere other than a Pull Up or knickers just escapes her. You would think she would be sick of having wet ankles by now. I know I am entirely sick of mopping up piss.

I am not blameless in this predicament though. I have never pushed the issue because there was always something else going on and right when I probably should have made a more concerted effort, we decided to move house, bring home a new baby and send her to preschool. The last thing I wanted to do was cause stress or anxiety and the timing was always off.

I keep hoping that if I put her in knickers for the day she will stop relying on the little amount of absorbency Pull Ups provide and realise that the mess running down her leg is rather unpleasant and she would be better off getting to the toilet.

Apparently not.

At the moment Skye does not so much as even pause when this happens, but will continue to sit, soggy and smelly, going on with whatever activity she is too busy to tear herself away from.

I will ask her if she needs to wee, I will insist that she sits on the toilet even if she does not think she needs to, I will read books, sing songs, offer bribes, threaten toys, implement reward charts, you name it, I have probably done it.

It's quite possible consistency is the issue...

Some days we will go accident free and as long as I remind her regularly throughout the day, she will comply. Then the very next day she will simply refuse to go near the toilet and so the power struggle begins all over again.

I am seriously kicking myself I didn't force the issue more before we had Hayden. Even a placid, sleepy newborn takes up enormous chunks of my day that keeps me from the task at hand.

Was your child difficult to toilet train? 

Am I going to have to cling wrap the lounge?!?

The Joys of Building Your Own Home #sarcasmfont

You know going into building your own home that it's not going to be a straight forward process, but the heady promise of getting your dream home just the way YOU want it quickly drowns out the 100s of horror stories you are told by everyone from your closest friends (helloooo Clever Baker Friend!) to the random lady sitting next to you at the hairdressers. 

Yeah, yeah, it's complicated, and it will cost way more than we first thought, but it will so worth it in the end. 

It can't seriously be that bad or people wouldn't keep doing it, and doing it more than once (kind of like child birth really).

How else are you going to find the house you really want?

You only ever hear the bad stories, these builder's must get it right occasionally or they wouldn't still be operating.

Blah. 

Blah. 

Blah.

Well Hello There Baby Bond!

Oh hi there! Long time, no post huh? 

Sorry about that.

But as you probably already know, I have a pretty good excuse for my absence...

Little Hayden Derek arrived on December 13th 2012, weighing 8 pounds, 8 ounces (3.86kgs for those who prefer metric) and 52cms long. His birth was not quite the straight forward and by comparison, easy labour that Skye's was. But he has been trying to make it up to me ever since by being the sweetest, snuggliest (totally a word) and most settled baby I could have hoped for.

With that being said, there is still that sense of being hit by a truck that is the first weeks with a newborn. The period where days simultaneously drag and fly past in a haze of cracked nipples, 3am feedings and a rather insane number of dirty nappies.

A good night's sleep, versus a rough one.

Not to mention the older sister who is still adjusting to no longer being the centre of the known universe.

But there is an awful lot of cuteness too.

I have missed my little blog and have had about a thousand post ideas running through my head, but in the interests of my own sanity and not wanting to inflict a whole bunch of waffling, senseless posts on you, I have been choosing sleep over pretty much anything else lately. 

I will be back, I will share more than just the sporadic upload to Instagram, and I will get back to reading all the other wonderful blogs I have lost touch with, but right now I am just too busy soaking up that new baby goodness while I can.

I'm sure you all understand x