Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Honey, It's Just Not That Simple: A Case Study In Shoe Shopping

Why is it that when daddy has to take over for the day, things go off without a hitch? It's not that I want Skye to be a difficult screaming little monster when Mr Bond is in charge, lets face it, I want him to enjoy his daddy-daughter time (if only so they have more of it). But returning home to a peaceful house where everything has been just fine is a little unnerving. It makes all those tough days I complain about look like a total crock and I can't help feeling a bit useless. But I discovered that something even more disheartening than daddy and daughter having a nice day at home together is when they decide to go out and do something like shoe shopping successfully - now that's going too far!

While Clever Baker Friend and I were preparing Cake Pops for her Market Day the other week, we had handed over all child wrangling duties to Mr Bond and Running Man so that we could get through rolling eleventy billion pops in one day. To minimise the chaos, I left Mr Bond and Skye at home and headed over the Clever Baker's house to get on with the job. 

The morning had gone pretty well, and we were making good progress, but the kids were starting to get a little restless. Running Man had been perusing the papers in the living room when he announced that he was going to take both Mini Bakers with him to the nearest Myer because they were having a shoe sale. 

Clever Baker Friend and I stopped in our tracks and burst into fits of laughter!

Yes Running Man, that sounds like a top idea, you have fun with that.

The mere idea of him thinking that would be successful had me relishing in smug anticipation of his return the whole time he was gone. I even offered to take before and after photos because I just knew this was going to be blog-worthy. Only that it was blog-worthy for all the wrong reasons. 

Not only did he manage to find the specific pair of shoes he had intended to buy, but the girls were cooperative and well behaved for the whole trip, all 3 of them returned happy. 

Talk about unfair!

When Clever Baker and I analysed the trip later, it was apparent that Running Man was much more realistic with his execution than either of us would have been. Essentially his trip would have been a little something like this:

Read ad stating Myer is having 30% off shoes. Decide it would be a good idea to get a new pair of work shoes, ones exactly like the old pair because they are so good.

Decide to take the children this afternoon after their nap.

Grab a couple of cheese sticks, muesli bars and a spare nappy while the toddler is sleeping.

Load the children into the car.

Drive to destination.

Unload the children into the stroller.

Go directly to Myer.

Try on pair of identical work shoes.

Purchase pair of shoes.

Return to car.

Load the children into the car.

Drive home.

Mission Accomplished.

WE on the other hand would have run the expedition a little like this:

Oooh, Myer is having 30% off shoes, I really need a new pair of ballet flats, I think I will go this afternoon.

Pack half the house in snacks, nappies, changes of clothing and toys into the car.

Change 4 times because that top just doesn't look right.

Load the children into the car.

Drive to destination.

Unload half the house in snacks, nappies, changes of clothing, toys and children into stroller.

Go directly to Myer.

Try on 12 pairs of almost identical shoes.

Decide it would be worth checking the deals at Wanted Shoes before making a purchase.

Begin walking to Wanted Shoes.

Spot a sale at Country Road.

Wander around Country Road to see if there are any bargains.

Purchase nothing at Country Road.

Continue to Wanted Shoes.

Try on 12 pairs of completely different, yet almost identical shoes.

Decide you liked the ones at Myer better.

Begin walking back to Myer.

Realise half the house of snacks is now depleted and a child requires a toilet break.

Take child to toilet, change toddler's nappy while you are there.

Allow children to play with the play equipment because they have been so good waiting in the stroller.

Continue back to Myer.

Try on 5 pairs of shoes.

Purchase a pair of heels that you have no need for, but they are on sale and look too cute to leave.

Decide against any of the pairs of ballet flats you have tried on.

Realise that the dull roar you can hear in the background is coming from your stroller.

Attempt to bribe toddler with the promise of a lollipop on the way home if they can just wait another 5 minutes.

Return to car.

Load children into the car.

Pay for parking because you went over the 3 hours free limit.

Drive home with the radio blaring to drown out the sound of children screaming that they want a lollipop.

Come on, tell me I'm not the only one who shops like this?!?!?

Note: I didn't actually manage to take any photographic evidence of this event, but even if I had I wouldn't be publishing them out of spite :)

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