I’m Still a Secret–and that’s how I like it

As my blog is still in its very early stages, I haven’t actually told a lot of my friends or family or even husband about its existence just yet. I had been considering writing a blog for a little while and recently ending my agreement with work whilst on Maternity Leave served as the catalyst to sign up. Technically I have been on Maternity Leave for the last 18 months but due to resourcing issues I was still performing some of my duties from home on a casual basis. These duties required layout and design work which fulfilled my need for some kind of creative outlet and a mental challenge outside of Skye-Wrangling. Facing the prospect of losing that outlet was all the motivation I needed to get started. I didn’t realise how much I was going to enjoy writing it and I also think it is a fantastic way to document this special time in our life in a way not even Project Life can replicate. But I am still not sure if I am ready to share myself with my real world.

I am not in any way embarrassed or trying to hide anything from the people I love, but from the small group of people I have told, I have already seen some criticism. I will say that the raised eyebrows have come from those without children who I suspect see my time spent at home with Skye in the same way I used to imagine it would be, no different to how you spend your time when on leave from work or chucking a sickie, i.e. however you want to.

The most common response so far has been that I am able to spend time writing a blog because I have so much time to spare. Really? How was your 2 hour “working lunch” at the cafe yesterday enjoying wine and a toasted Turkish followed by cake and coffee? My Vegemite toast and Moccona Dark Roast inhaled between loads of washing and feeding Skye was fab, thanks for asking.

As anyone who has ever spent time as an at home parent will tell you, the concept of time as you know it ceases to exist once you add a baby into the equation. Babies, as adorable as they are, do not particularly care that shops are only open until 5pm, or that you need just 5 more minutes to finish cooking dinner, making the bed or brushing your teeth. Especially in the very newborn stages, their demands are unpredictable at best, but probably more accurately described as maniacally erratic. Aside from the total lack of routine I was also completely floored by just how long everything takes! There were days when Skye was a newborn that I wouldn’t leave the house even though I was a little delirious with cabin fever because it was simply too much effort. It hasn’t gotten much better lately, yes, the routines are now securely locked down but timeliness is still an issue, however I am now more prepared and factor shoe negotiations and change table wrestles into my exit strategy.

There is a positive that has come from this criticism though. I am indeed human, and I recognise that I do waste time that could be put to better use. I have re-evaluated how I use my time and where my priorities lie. I am a bit of a night owl so I now try to use this quiet alone time to get ready for the day ahead, it works for me because I can do things uninterrupted and it doesn’t interfere with being with Luke and Skye. Since starting my blog, I use the small amount of free-time I have creating posts rather than tuning out in front of the TV, I plan it into my day as a window of “me-time”. Not only do I get a chance to process and express my feelings, but it has given me a better appreciation of how great our little life really is, a huge bonus I never expected and one that doesn’t rely on anyone else’s approval.