Tuesday, 13 September 2011

I Am A Bad Friend

I am a bad friend, and I feel awful about it. I have no excuses other than I am slack and have the brain capacity of a goldfish so I tend to forget things as soon as I see something shiny, or you pour me a glass of wine. A couple of months ago it was birthday party central in our group and we seemed to have a gathering of some kind (sometimes more) every weekend. Here I was merrily dancing on stages and high fiving people in expensive restaurants and all the while I had forgotten about another friend who had invited me to her 30th birthday that same weekend.


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This friend lives in another state and I know that she did not really expect me to attend her party but I did not remember to so much as RSVP to her invitation let alone send a card, or a gift, or pick up the damn phone! Worst of all, I still haven’t, because I keep forgetting to get her something. Her birthday was in July so it is getting a bit ridiculous now to simply send her an email, I really feel that a tangible apology is more appropriate, but the longer I leave it, the more ridiculous it gets.

She has sent me numerous forwarded joke emails since her birthday and I have yet to respond to any of them because I want to acknowledge the forgotten invitation first, which of course makes me look even more slack.

Despite the fact that we no longer live in the same state, and have not actually laid eyes on each other since we were 13, I really value her friendship. She moved away before there was email, or mobiles or Facebook so we lost contact not long after she left never to be heard from again until a fluke connection with her sister on Facebook almost 3 years ago. I was able to get her email address and sent her that first timid email, not knowing if she would even remember me. But she did, and it was not long before we were emailing each other almost daily. What made the timing even more amazing was that she fell pregnant only 3 weeks before I did and we were able to share this overwhelming and exciting time with each other so closely.


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Our situations could not have been more different with regards to the our experiences during pregnancy, labour and breastfeeding and she had to return to work quite soon after having her daughter, yet we still bonded by having someone to share all the gory details with. We sent each other gifts for the arrival of each child, Christmas and 1st birthdays and boasted about our gorgeous babies and their achievements. Before I began blogging it was really the only time I wrote down my feelings on becoming a mum and the steep learning curve that comes with it and I looked forward to hearing from her each week. It was like my old school friend had fell back into my life because we are meant to remain friends, having her in my life makes me happy despite the distance.

So my mission for this week is to make amends, I need to find an appropriate gift and put effort into a handwritten letter to show her how much I do really value her friendship. I know that our friendship can survive over 13 years of silence and come back even stronger so I’m not concerned that a mindless absence on my part will destroy it, but I am determined to make sure she knows how important she is to me.

Oh, and to Clever Baker Friend, no I haven’t forgotten to get Little One’s first birthday gift either, I know it’s very late, but at least it will be warm enough for her to wear her swimmers by the time I get them for her!


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